A Good Man Is Hard to Find

       Flannery O'Connor's piece, "A Good Man Is Hard to Find", was a seemingly normal story about a family vacation at first, but then it unexpectedly delves into the topic of religion and morals brought about by a convict self titled 'The Misfit'. In the story the two characters with strong moral beliefs, though they are opposite ones, are the grandmother and The Misfit. Their morals are not necessarily good, however. Their morals are just codes of conduct that they live by. The quick assumption that can be made is that the grandmother holds strong morals while the Misfit does not, only because she is an innocent old woman while The Misfit is a convict on the run. However, when analyzing further, it is shown that The MIsfit holds stronger and more steadfast morals than the grandmother. In an uncomfortable and extreme situation,which was being held captive by The Misfit, the gradmother's morals soften and she cannot even find it in herself to pray and ask Jesus to help her through her struggle. This is a contradiction to her previous boasts of devotion to the Lord earlier in the story. She also prides herslef in being a lady while at the same time she does not tell her family the truth about what startled her and what caused the accident; she did that out of pure pride. Her appearence is described extensively and reveals how much looking like a lady and looking nice matters to her, which is very vein of her. The grandmother has plainly commited two of the seven deadly sins. In contrast to the grandmother's loose morals, The Misfit lives his life by rules that he made up for himslef based on his past experiences. He beleives that the punishment never matches the crime that has been commited, so whatever crime is done does not matter because the punishment is sure to not be suitable. He also shows stronger morals by questioning religion instead of meekly accepting it as the grandmother does. The contrast between these two characters is unexpected and thought provoking.        

I've Got It Bad For Joe Scum

              Herman Mildew. The name Herman Mildew has never concerned me and never will. I have eyes for only one man with a bacterially associated surname, and his name is Joe Scum. However, I’ll extrapolate on his dreamy assets later, for now let’s discuss Mildew. His name definitely suited him. Mildew’s enthusiasm for toenail clippings is probably what really threw me once and for all. However, my disgust towards him has never provoked me so much as to want to kill the man. Besides, the night of his murder I was too busy with my previously planned activities. For every day of the week I have a different activity that specifically targets various aspects of my love interest: Joe Scum. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, my life is quite like a movie and is definitely more interesting than yours, be jealous. Anyway, it was a Wednesday, my favorite day of the week. On Wednesdays I wear pink. I do this in honor of my favorite film, which is also a widely known classic: Mean Girls. I like to pretend that I’m a cleaner, non-ginger version of Lindsey Lohan while Joe Scum is of course Aaron, her crush throughout the film.

                Anyway, while looking dashing in my pink outfit, I proceed to “bump into” Joe at his workplace. He works at the prestigious chain restaurant, Taco Bell. Even the name alone of Taco Bell screams classy. Honestly, they should add a side of earplugs to their menu. People might go deaf because of all the class being screamed at them. Then they would sue Taco Bell and the claim of going deaf from class would just look silly on paper, let’s be real now. As I put Joe into a trance with my hair twirling and head tilting he got so lost staring into my slightly lazy eye that he started blabbering some jibberish about not being interested in me. You know it’s working when they start talking nonsense. So by that time I knew I was in. I could barely contain myself so I proceeded to leap over the freshly bleached countertops and into Joe’s arms. Unfortunately for me, Joe was so dedicated to his work that he had to dash over to the drive-thru right as I was leaping towards him, oh that Joe. So I fell onto the floor, which unlike the counters was not freshly bleached. I passed out, but was awoken a few minutes later. Apparently the manager had stuck various cleaning products under my nose in order to wake me up. Thank goodness he did that; I wouldn’t have wanted to endanger my life in any way. I mean I could have wasted away on that dirty floor among dried bits of their seasoned beef, which is the equivalent of dog food, if he hadn’t forced chemicals up my nose, what a thoughtful and resourceful man.

                  After that incident was over and I was on my feet again, I was told that Joe had to leave while I was unconscious. I decided that I should probably just head home anyway and take a shower instead of further pursuing Joe into the night. So that’s what I did. Besides, I already knew I had him wrapped around my stubby finger. I’m irresistible.